Be A Succulent Wild Woman.

Be delicious. Eat mangoes naked. Lick the juice off your arms. :)
Discover your own goodness.
Smile when *you* feel like it.
Be rare, eccentric and original. Descrice yourself as marvelous.
Paint your soul.
Investigate your dark places with a flashlight. :)
Make more mistakes.
Tell the truth, faster. Celebrate your gorgeous friendships with women.

Diary Entry

2nd year Architecture SUCKS!!!!! Loadsa Work!! But at least tha projects be intresting.

WENT TO A STRIP CLUB!!! With actual naked women..OMG!!! Its shockin at first, then slides into boring, then GROSS! But hey, they makin paper, huh? :\

Get blazed at least, twice a week now.. Mari and her friend Juana, and maybe a shoot or two.
HE really hates this..

Had wild, rough sex...NYAM!!!!! Have to do that again...

Nursed my FIRST HANGOVER EVER, this Saturday. Ouch!!

Have a New COOL Roomate!! She Rocks!!!!

Want anaa tatoo..

Ok.. Sina Mambo! The END!! (...real cool ALBUM!!)

HE's Back!!! :)

Am in Studio, starting the trans-nighting for today.

And, i have HIM back...!! I have HIM back.

We was always fussing and fighting... Coza this.. Coza that.. EVERY-DAMN-DAY WE FIGHTING!!! Cause HE all irritated by Kenya (..nope, HE ain't Kenyan...) HE has some VERY SERIOUS homesickness. :( ...but HE's BACK!!! Woop! Back to the man i find easy to love... Cause even this past month or so... Its been hard.. Hard to Love HIM, but turns out, you can't turn that shit on and off..hihi!

Not sayin i'll bail when 'thing R thick' jus saying... You know, errbody enjoys the times when its easy.

My Classmates and i.. Love randomNess.. No.. We THRIVE on it!! Random Pizza, Random Roadtrip, Random Detour... Today we RANDOMLY decide to DONATE BLOOD!!!!

Hehe.. And i roll'd last week.. And haven't eaten the whole day.. BUT AM STILL STANDING.... for now.

..ama be that typa girl, as well as that typa girl.

Just heard 'the boys' talk of a time before HE was 'mine' ...a time when HE used to curse, listen to only Lil' Wayne, and dress all G-Dawg-Gansta....

At that time HE saw a fly mama and said how HE'd like to "...bend that over...."
..i laughed, but was shocked also. Cause the HIM i know, my HIM wouldn't say that.. Then started getting sad.. Cause.. You know... Didn't wanna be the girl who totally changes HIM.. And HE wants to bend who over?!

HIS boy says i sucked the life out of HIM...

I snap outta my almost mopping, remind HIM who HE want to 'bend over' ...and my response was..
"But you enjoyed it..?!"

Shit Of a Wednesday!!

Its 8months today.. But feels like TWO years.. Am having a SHIT of a day!!!! And HE's the one who nini's anniversaries.. Thus thought HE'd make me a bit happier... Am having problems with where i stay, so woke up to that... Then am BROKE AS HELL... I get to class (...finally..) and HE's all moody touchy touchy... YUCK!! So RM tells HIM about the crap we getting... And HE starts MAKING NOISE FOR ME!!! WTF??! Saying its apparently unfair that i assumed (i say gathered) HE's in a bad mood nyof nyof...! WTF?? Nigga, i gatst things on my mind, and you wanna add your BS?!!! HE's supposed to make me feel better... But No!! HE's always so damn combative when i approach HIM, then HE wonders why its so damn hard for me to talk to HIM when sumn buggin me.. DUDES ARE DUMB!! Every time am bugg'd HE focuses on that i find it hard to talk... But HE's not talk-to-like.. At least in the moment am bugg'd! I HATE THIS!! Dunno how to make HIM understand.

This post shoulda been before 'Gagets N Designers... That's how it happened..

WOOP!!! Went out last Thursday.. Wait this Thursday.. No, last Thursday.... Did some preliminary preparations, smoked a bit.. Sip! Sip here. So by the time was at the club was already laughing histerically and was all wobbly and giddy. Every jam was MY jam!!! AND I DANCED!!! Danced to EVERY song, the whole night... was one sip away from dancing on the table... FUNTIMES!!! Yes, indeed!!

Altho, me ain't no drankard, but today was just 'girl gone wild' But was stupidly drinking Reds, and only 3 cans was enough to get me hiiiigh!! WOOP!!

Not dancing for the next year...

But at least, NO HANGOVER!!! Again, this Thursday-maybe even tomorrow.

GaGets & DeSiGNeRs.

Inadequecies... Seem to be pointed out a lot lately... We hang together, but HE and her, my close friend(let's call her RM) So anyway, there somethings am not interested in.. Gagets (Computes, iPods etc) & Designers(Gucci, Bvlgari, Givenchy etc) Not that am absolutely ignorant in those sectors, am just not intrested-so the nitty gritty i don't know. HE and RM are well vast in those areas, an thus have discussions and excitement over such stuff. Me, myself, i just sit quietly, going "ooh" "aaah" "mmhm" when appropriate. And i end up feeling like, if there was to be, a 'modern day miss-independent HouseWife' ....IT SUCKS!!! Feel stupid, and inadequate at THOSE MOMENTS!! YUCK, I HATE IT!!!! I wanna cry, then that makes me feel even DuMber... Esp. cause AM NOT!!! But it always happens like that...in those moments.

Title.. Urrm.. Dunno

Was facebooking.. And realiz'd i don't talk to 92% of the peep... So was 'removing friends' but didn't finish... Cause well.. Its mean.. And too long a process, i got bored. But i've lost loadsa friends.. My fault..i think. Maybe theirs. Dunno what to do..

Latest UHONDO!! Hihi!

Hope 'uhondo' means what i hope it means.

Well.. School open'd.. [and haven't finished my assignment, and am in bed]
Went to Boyfie's house on Wednesday-slept over....NYAM!!!! We fought at some point... A big fight-tears, screaming, the works! Hate when we fight, its exhausting. So missed out on 'its-almost-morning-sex' But its cool, Boyfie more than made up for the fight... Mmmmhmm!!

Haven't gone out much, only some random Thursday, but the Boyfriend wasn't around.. So dudes were acting all groopy-really uncomfortable. Some nigga spank'd me, and blamed alchohol..YUCK!! Then i wanna dance.. This my jam.. I wanna dance BY MYSELF!!! But niggas wanna grind... And they be FREAKING HARD..pressing there DISGUSTING throbbing tool all up in my space. MOVE OFF PUNK!! So i REALLY miss'd HIM then!!!
My roomie has a THICK BLUNT, we need to smoke...haven't gotten high in A WHILE!! Then, i went to Lé Toi, (hihi) FINALLY added one more pair of SKINNIES to my wardrobe..YAAAY! Also bought the cutest brown rastafarie (sp?) hat! :) But i had to leave behind the SEXIEST ANKLE BOOTS, cause didn't have enough money. Boyfie said we COULD MAYBE MIGHT go back for them, split the cost... Fingers Cross'd!!
...boyfie sounds shady...hihi! Think ama go back to 'HE'

WE MOVED HOUSE!!! I NOW LIVE IN ATHI RIVER!!! In a big, unfinished house... FUN TIMES!! And all our stuff's in boxes, cause ma papz wants to put floor tiles, then wardrobes.. I like the house!! We ALL like the house!

I've lost my POOCH!!! Finally, diligently did sit-ups.. And then bought a SEXY COSTUME to show off my LACK OF a pooch. Then they say 'El Nino' .. :( But i've lost weight...SUCKS....haven't been eating too well. Wanna add alittle more.. Fill out my clothes!!
..oh, am back at the Hostel... Big Woop!
THE END!!

GOD IS REAL SMART!!

As tha title suggests, God is REAL smart. He planned out this "He-She Thing" from the VERY GET GO!!! From creation... Even slightly before that. Everything with all the He-People on earth, compliments the She-People on earth. (hehe... He-People..) But God not only made us to suppliment each other, but He also made us SIMILAR in some aspects of ourselves. Eg: Guys all stress about providing (for themselves or for the peep around them) FINANCIALLY. And girls all stress about providing EMOTIONALLY. This not to say a girl can't provide financially, neither am i implying a dude can't provide emotionally. It jus comes more naturally for one than the other. But PROVISION is on the mind of hes as well as shes.
With God, doing it how He planned it, all aspects of Our lives fit PERFECTLY!!!! Perfectly!
<>

Like ladies, tha GUYS SHOULD CHASE YOU!!!! Asin, REALLY CHASE YOU!! I say give them a DELIBARATE OBVIOUS HARD TIME!!!!! ..relax gentlemen...ladies, don't get conceited now... Cause, am realizing that this is how God intended it. Guys are easily distracted. So if he chases and you keep running:
-You can sift through all the lame-dudes that may want some of you, be left with the good guy(s)
-Dudes can decide how badly they want this girl.
Cause you can both get sex anywhere, am talking if you want more....
Even once your his 'significant other', and he yours, ladies i still say don't make it too easy for him.

Now, this isn't no 'miss-independent, female-empowerment, free the girl-child' post (think those have been over-done) am jus stating the process i've come to understand is God's plan...

....Jacob worked for FOURTEEN YEARS on Racheal's dad's farm, so that he could eventually marry her.

'Wives submit to your husbands...'
This is to be an act of love not oppresion.
'Husbands love your wives...'
Now cause this bugger chased you like MaRRD and whilst doing that showed you over & over how much he wants you, and more importantly how much he loves you. Thus, when y'all say "I do" you, the damsel, will feel loved and safe enough to 'submit' to this He-person. As a show of your love and respect for him. This is in no way meant to degrade the woman, nor elevate the man..its jus that if a man loves and cares for his woman, the woman should reciprocate his love with respect shown through submission. Cause women need to be LOVED more than anything, men need to be RESPECTED more than anything.

See God's logic...? He made man and woman to be together. Fashioning women pre-desposed to submission. And fashioning men pre-desposed to love one woman.
[Some of y'all may be wondering 'Guys, one woman? But they cheat' First, we both cheat... Secondly, when a guy truly loves a girl, for real, she's all he sees]

As long as we understand and follow the process God put in place, we will indeed live happily ever after!!

Aah! Puu!

Today i realized i slightly resent my friends... Slightly, i use lightly.. And its not all my friends.
Cause, we don't talk much since HE became my boyfriend, and at first thought its cause we get so wrapped-up in each other we forget all else. But i've realized its cause my friends don't wanna get to know HIM. They've already labelled HIM and put HIM in a mould, that they don't see HIM as i do, even remotely. They ask, "Hey, how's the Boyfriend?" but they really don't care or wanna know.. Am not the if-you-don't-like-my-man-i-hate-you typa person, but if you don't even try to get to know HIM, even if its cause you wanna know what i like or whatever, then now how's that gonna work? What's funny is, i've sat and listened to many of them talk about there significant others MANY TIMES-and didn't mind at all-jus thought i'd be able to do the same with my HIM... But cause HE ain't from 'their crew' they don't care. HE even got saved, and none of my christian buddies wanted to talk to HIM show HIM a thing or two about Jesus. Nah, they're like "why can't HE talk to so one else?" What tha Heck??!! Can't even be happy that someone has found The Lord. Maybe am overreacting (is that supposed to be one word? Yah, looks right, or not?) but i've always felt like i have to work so much harder than most to keep my friendship with 'those friends' going.. But am done, cause i care for HIM soo much more. Plus, there's only so much i can do.. so ama loose some friends, probably already have.. But hey, at least i got HIM... And my 'other' group of friends.

...this post is weird, not sure i've written it as i wish it to be interpreted.. Am not bitter or anything, jus tired and done.

NEW TOP!!! Tralalalalala.. :)

So today bought THE COOLEST BLUE/PURPLE TOP EVER!!! Just the right amount of cleavage.. Bare back, but not scandalas-shows jus abit of my tatoo.. Its cool!! Plus, it hids my 'little' pooch! Can't wait to wear it in coast... WOOP!! WOOP!!! COAST!!!!
Going to coast with some classmates and am SOOO EXCITED!!! Never been to coast, except with family... So glad to get wasted, get high and get laid in the humidity...!!!

..at work, was asigned to 'a site' ..uh-huh, CONSTRUCTION SITE!!!! I do architecture, so i learn a lot... But its weird, cause am not a 'fundi' so being on site the whole day is...nini! But other than the BLAZING SUN and the HORRIFIC lavatories is cool, am having fun... Can wear what i want (offcourse gats to be 'site-friendly' so TECHNICALLY isn't ANYTHING i want.) My day starts around 10, and can leave as i please, plus its close to home.. Not next door, but close enough. So its quite a bargain.

...ok, now back to the mirror to stare at my AMAZING NEW TOP!!!

:)

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:"

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now.. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?".
26. Always choose life.
27. Forgive everyone everything.
28. What other people think of you is none of your business..
29. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
31. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
32. Believe in miracles.
33. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
34. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
35. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
36. Your children get only one childhood.
37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
38. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
41. The best is yet to come.
42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
43. Yield.
44. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.


.....thanx KahawaHot!

today's strange...familiar

Its a random thursday.... and i feel how i did when i was 17... SAD, for NO particular REASON. 17 was my all time low (thus far).... was also the year i took approx. 20pills... obviously today isn't that bad... Jus coming and going-making sure to keep busy..

Just read a blog where someone wanted to write a letter to their past self.. what would i say???
RUN, BITCH!!! RUN!!
Ok, i don't totaly HATE who i am or who am becoming... i just don't like some aspects...
Looking back, 17-year-old-depressed-me thought 20-year-old-me would be a better person...

Maybe shoulda taken a few more pills... think then i was the best version of myself... or at least heading there.

05.09.09

Spent the day with HIM..... i fucking LOVE that bugger...!!!

:'(

CRAP, this morning had a semi fight with HIM..

Was kinda stranded this morning, and there was on where to buy credit.. So needed HIM to buy some (from where HE was) and send it to me. Told HIM to hurry or it would beat the purpose. So am sitting there in the cold (..get the visual..cold..stranded..in the morning..7AM.. uh-huh, i want you to side with me) Then HE calls to say he just got dressed.. asking me why am giving HIM orders like that.... WHAT THA HELL??!! When my phone vibrated i thought he was calling to ask if i had gotten the credit HE was to send... Your dressed???!!! Really? GOOD FOR YOU... So am i.. PUNK!! Askin me why am giving him orders...WHAT THA FREAKING HELL????!!! Amid my emegency you want me to go like "Morning Babe, how'd you sleep? was wondering if you could please..." GO HANG!!!! Needed something done, needed you to say if can do it, if not i look for someone who can.

So am mad cause now HE's all hyper-sensitive and I STILL DON'T HAVE CREDIT!!!! But i hear some STUPID mushy song on the radio..and i wanna talk to HIM (stupid stupid).. So i EVENTUALLY get credit and call HIM.. Wanna say morning nicely, ask how HE's doing..maybe squeeze in that HE needs to ralax with the sensitivity..

But no..

HE's still all touchy touchy..YUCK!!
So we argue AGAIN-number two and a half, and i haven't even reached the office yet..i don't need this...neither does HE (kinda)
"..your not listening.."
"i am. am just trying to say.."
"no. but i think..."

I hang up..

Am pissed, but this is all so STUPID!!

Five minutes later i find my hands picking up my phone (i swear they were possesed) and my thumd begins to work...
"..don't wanna fight"
SEND

..i HATE this disease i caught.. i hate this feeling that follows me around...don't wanna LOVE no more!!!
...its crushing my pride!!!


...mushy song on the radio again...AM NOT GONNA CALL HIM AM NOT GONNA CALL HIM NOT GONNA..

..both roles!!!

HE recently got saved..YAAY!!!! And am the one who taked to him about God.. even though i've strayed a bit (omit 'a bit')i miss God, as ironic or strange as that may seem, i miss God. So when HE made this decision, i was extatic!!!! Showed HIM who to talk to, what to read, what to do.. And went on about how that journey is gonna be phenomenal for HIM.

Now, what's messed-up is that i am also the one on top, screaming his name.. saying am cuming.

....how am i gonna play both roles...??

Am at work before 7am.... On totally unrelated matters...

Yesterday i met this guy, he's an artist...paintings and stuff am not sure, he does stuff on comps, not like graphic design (altho' that's cool too) but like videos, photos, animations...cool beans!!
And he graduated from uni with a degree in FINE ART!!! Asin COOL BEANS, when i grow up... :)
Enyhoo, we talked; going on and on about paper, colours, paint, pencils.. you know? that stuff. And i felt like an artist again, cause was just rumbling on and on.. This dude understood why i would salivate over a packet of CRAYOLA colours. Spoke of poetry and music (this got me missing my 'fro, although that is a bit pretencious of me)
I wanted to paint, etch, colour, write... i wanted to draw.

...but i haven't drawn or written this whole year. Have a metre or two of CANVAS, untouched. Don't support deforestation anymore-keeping this book of poetry and that book of poetry.
i cannot call myself an artist anymore, but i know i should be one.. Lakini saying 'Hi! Am -- and am an Artist' sounds so..lack of a better nini..high and mighty, or is it self-righteous..you know what i mean-sitting on that ever so high horse; And i think an artist, when it comes to there work, should exercise loads of humility-leaves room for impovement.

its weird like i've compartmentalized (is that a word?) myself. Like there is this version of me, but also that version of me.. not saying am a skitso... or change to that me or this me based on circumstances.. Just saying...urrm.. what was i saying?

my boyfriend don't like my blog.
don't like his business all over...
wish he'd just understand i need an outlet

..mmmmhhh...

...if i close my eyes and remember, i can feel you inside me... throbbing.. pushing.. pulling.. Mmmmh, and that get's me wet.. Just like i know it gets you hard.

...i wanna

i wanna cook for him
i wanna wait on him
i wanna fight for him
i wanna let my fingers all over his body..
i wanna admire that spot where neck meets chest,
where pelvic meets thigh
i wanna kiss him
i wanna sex him...really good :)
i wanna touch
i wanna hold him
i wanna take care of him
i wanna make him happy
...i wanna blog about him all the time

He's got me...

He's got me twisted...
wanting to take care of him,
in everyway.
He's got me all wound-up
wanting to be with him,
all the time.

-

..its you!!

Greetings the first being to follow my blog... Nice to meet you!!!

...i like girls.. hehe.. like saying that, makes me happy.

I HAD A LESBIAN DREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
....ABOUT A GIRL I KNEW!!!!!!!!!!!!
What's even stranger in that this girl and i don't speak, we aren't friends, we don't cross path IN ANY WAY!!!! In Any Way!!! So lately i've been...lemmi call it 'noticeing' girls lately.. And if was to have a 'type' they'd be the 'african exotic' type.. Rwandese, Ethopian.. ETHOPIAN, Tanzanian.. typa girls.. Real Weird!!!
I even sort of.. kinda.. flirted with a certain young damsel, turns out am good at it.... hehehehe... twas weird cause at first she thought i was just making conversation, the i think she put it together...
Now nothing happened.... But twas COOL!!!
And i probably will never see her again, which makes it even cooler!!!
Oh yah.. back to my DREAM.... So i did things she did things, and it felt sooo real!!!!!!! The i woke up in a panic.. Couldn't decide if it was a nightmare or a dream... still can't decide.

:)

Well.. today am jus blogging cause am at work and there is net... i don't TECHNICALLY have much to say...
Am gonna stop with the disclaimers before my blogs now!!!
am drawing the Norfolk Towers, on Archicad (some architectural program..) a biulding that was biult in about 1977.. Why? I don't know.. was told to and they paying me (YAAAAAAY!!!) so i agreed.

OMG!!! (that still makes me happy..OMG!!) Yesterday i went to a site of an on going project... at 5pm... with an architect.... in his car.. to a project he was doing on the side.... Hehe. This after my mum warned me not to do that, cause men are.. well... Men!!! Twas weird, i was freaking out.. But i wasn't cause this dude's alright, he's still a dude. Eeeenyhoooo (cause this story is lame) he let me drive.. YAAAY!!.. and i got home safe, and my boyfriend made noise for me about safety.. but its cool. Dinner last night was NYAMMY!!!!!

Am having one of those days!!!!

Am having a strange day...... Am at work but am enjoying it today (work at an architecture firm, its not too bad) Todays strange cause i find myself wanting to do things, say things..... i want my boyfriend, so that we can get naughty, i wanna flirt with that chic with the nice shoes..and eyes.. i wanna go out tonight and LIGHT IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA!!!!!!! But i keep stopping to think what if... And now am wondering why i hesitate... and its cause am scarrred about what people are gonna think.. say.. okay the people around me, 'friends' and the like.... But honestly today SCREW THAT!!!!!! cause I WANNA!!!!!!!! My logic? um.. well they isnt any. But honestly we USED to be friends, now hardly. we don't talk, but its okay this isnt a boohoo-kinda-post. you don't miss me much nor i... so don't be giving me pep talks about how am off track and things.... WE AINT THAT TIGHT!!! Bana si i've gone of topic.. but i don't know what i was originally trying to get across..

...i had just read a blog of a friend about her sexapades, and i felt A JEALOUSY (uh-huh just one.. hahaha!) but unlike the other commenting folk who were jelous that she got her plenty of good SOME, i was jealous of the fact that she could jus write about it with out hesitation, much editing or inhibitions... Even that I WANNA!!! i wanna write about whatever it is after all MY BLOG!!!!

..tatoo II, and counting....

Got another tatoo today, by my ankle... It hurt like HELL!!!!!!

Ai!! I feel like such a fake blogger.

..its been a minute.. But i've been planning a come back.. Which am still planning. Am starting my 'finals' today (i really should be reading for economics.. huh...) But they've been a lot of stuff i said ama blog.... And i will.. Eventually.

My BLACK HEELS.... And my ASS of a boyfriend!!!

Am not a 'girly girl' ...i just have 'girly MOMENTS'. I had on of those moments on Wednesday, today Friday, and i bought myself my FIRST (yes, first) PAIR OF BLACK HEELS!!!! I've been vehemently searching for a pair for the longest time, and lately my boyfriend's been 'hinting' that me-in-heels would be a sight to behold. So i buy this pair of heels, (for 500ksh ONLY!!! YAY!! And they cute and stuff) but this purchase is quite a gamble, cause i gats me some VERY FLAT FEET, so heels are pretty damn painful.

Now, i have A LOT of pride...

So Friday, get dolled-up and wear my new shoes, with leg-warmers (which looks TOO COOL btw) and put on some skinnies and stuff. I leave my room, head to school...

...and for a boy who makes a FUSS over me each time i inhale and exhale, all he says is "..you look taller...oh, heels." And like had said 'girly MOMENTS', this was one of those. Ofcourse i was PISSED!!! Punk-Ass-Nigga!! (hehe!!) Uh-huh, i may be A BIT of a drama queen, but A LITTLE more EXCITEMENT would have gone a very long way in rationalizing my aching toes.

...for the first time he wasn't the highlight of my day. That came later when we were out and some random dude was INSISTING on my phone number, of the ICE-CREAM that came BEFORE the PiZZA, or the random sitting on random benches... You know what, the HIGHLIGHTS started right about the time he left!!

I need to go back....

See am a Christian. But lately i have not been a very good one. (..and by 'lately', i mean the past year or so) Am indiffrent to my christianity. I experience no regret for past errors. I lead a mediocre life. Am not ati REBELING, but am just not on the right track. On a VERY SLOW, VERY GRADUAL DOWNWARD SPIRAL!!! And those are the worst typa downfalls, where you've been sitting in the murk for a while before you feel it soak through your pants. I am, at the core, an artist.. But i don't draw anymore.. Neither do i write anymore. The reason, i lack inspiration... from the Giver of this 'gift'. My school work's JUST AVERAGE (sometimes below) cause i lack ZEAL for anything, the FREAKING INDIFFRENCE has sipped into every aspect of my life. I am in a relationship which jus don feel right, but lack the balls to do anything about it. Don't get me wrong, my boyfriend, ONE OF THE GOOD ONES, i just don't feel that 'peace' that comes with knowledge that your with 'THE ONE.' And if your wondering, what i mean by 'the one' isn't some random bratha in my fairy tale... But he's the Man standing next to me AS i fullfil GOD'S PLAN FOR ME!!!! Simple as that. And this man ISN'T 'that man', not to take away from his stature as a person, but he just isn't! And with all this, i know..... I struggle to do what i need to.


I NEED TO GO BACK TO MY LORD....

Nyuma ya Steering!! Wololo!

So am moving out...YAY!!! And need to get my duvet drycleaned. And since it ain't so far, my mum let me use her car..YAY AGAIN!!!! [i LOVE driving.. manual.. automatic.. Whatever!! As long as its a vehicle am GAMEST!!] Okay, but yesterday i was nervous, so was having many MANIAC-MOMENTS!!! ...as i turned a corner, this man also decided to cross the road..... I HOOT... But its of no consequence... I BRAKE.... But the consequence, too slow. So... I HIT THE MAN!!!!!!




No worries, he didn't get badly hurt.... But that was CRAAAZY WEIRD!!!

That DEFINATELY tops my list of Encounters (not Accidents.. Encounters!!!) whilst am behind the wheel.

2:38am

First time we're gonna go to sleep, both in a huff. You PISSED ME OFF ...screw you btw... And i pissed you off also ...kinda...sorta... almost... But that was 12:43am, now its 2:38am and i wanna talk to you...

Boyfriend... Not a title, but his Job Description..hehe!

I've tried, i really have. Tried NOT to write about Him, cause... well.. PRIDE!! (i've got too much) But am done trying... He's in my head, and can't seem to get Him out, no matter how hard i fight it. (think ama stop fighting..maybe) I miss Him.. Saw Him yesterday... =( Spoke about 4hrs ago.. Even though i was napping, that's to long.
Is it the 'Real Thing'?! To Him Uh-huh. Me? I have my moments... When i think it could go somewhere, other times am not too sure. But i Like Him.. A lot!! LOVE?? I don't know. That is hard to come across. And i, myself, me personally have not let society diminish the meaning of LOVE.. So will not hold on to a fleeting 'i love you, babe' But are His words fleeting?? I honestly, don't know... Even if he meant that, i will not jus fall for a man based on His words (except for Jesus...) no matter how genuine. Regardless of my Pride and the Fight am putting up, He's managing to reel me in... Into His Arms....and there it all goes away.

'Uptown Artists'

Well..... Am still deciding whether this is a bad or good... Ama it just is!!
KENYAN AFRO-FUSION!!!! Very Good Stuff!!! Eric Wainaina, Dan Aceda... Chizi, Carol Atemi, Neema, Sauti Sol..... VERY GOOD ARTISTS!!! And i've heard, severaly, all their albums. Their songs are Soulful, some up-beat, some slow, there's a bit of sumn for ERRIBODY.... But, is it really for everybody??? With their shows held on Wednesday afternoon, and Thursday nights... At the Museam, or Goethe Institute, maybe French Cultural Center... Am just wondering if their music is REALLY FOR EVERYONE..... Really?? Am not beimg judgemental, cause in Kenya Most things Artistic are considered 'up-town' But thing is, most of this peep sing some deep stuff.... Love... Music... KENYA.... Politicians... Poverty... Deep Stuff!!! And that probably makes the jams COOLEST!!! ....but then again, the stuff they talk about is also.... 'up-town' No 'ghetto homie' is wondering about falling in love, or their dreams as a poet coming true, he ain't thing about how Africa has such potential.... That homie just wants some paper.... to make ends meet. So he will not go listen to Hatimaye (Atemi) or Suluwe (Chizi) or Sauti Sol.... Na-huh! Will not jav to Goethe Institute on a Tuesday at 4:03pm.. To pay 200bob for a 3hour concert. Nah, not on his list of priorities. Am just saying, can't take sides and say whether its bad or good... Cause i do go for those concerts... those less than 400bob, at least... But am thinking maybe music should reach everyone, and leave them to choose their favourite based on tha beats and lyrics of the song.... Not confined by location or monetary constraints. But then again all artists have their target audience and these Artists picked this ones. I don't know.... I love that typa music, just thinking should span a bigger expance....

Am Out...... FINALLY!!!

My school work's CRAZY.... A LOT of work!!! ......ARCHITECTURE, uh-huh, i wanna DESIGN biuldings and stuff, anyway so am MOVING OUT!!!!! YAAAY!! To some very plush area, on State House Road....hehe... Well... maybe not plush, but VERY CUTE!!! So am like buying Duvets... Pillows.. Flip Flop's... Am LOVING THIS!!!! Now, i've never been in boarding school so am EXTATIC!!! Well.. Cause it'll make life MUCH EASIER, no more commuting, the FREEDOOM..... and i also would help to get away from my messed up family... Or is it PARENTS??!

Peace Of Me-Natasha Bedingfield

Standing still, but still moving. Laying down, but not resting. Breathing air, suffocating. All the while am debating, life was never what i thought.....

...ama get the rest of the words. Feel free to feel me in.

=)

24.04.09

Huh. That was indeed a strange day... Hang with a certain young man.. (no worries, all i blog will not be about guys..not that typa girl) ..okay, this young man.. And well.. Things got complicated. Strange part is that.. it was kinda disappointing, wasn't what i expected... That BUBBLE BURST.. LOUD AND MERCILESS. Huh.. Maybe it's really only ROCKS if its the right time & person. Oh well... What do i know, i've never do it b4 or since....

=l

The Debut!!

WOW!!! My first blog... Hehe.. And i have nothing to say. I, honestly, didn't think i'd ever blog... I enjoy reading people's blog more... Specially a certain caffine addict.. Very intresting. Nyhoo so am blogging... This one's about ME. And all things that make ME!! ...hehe. This my debut in this cyber scene..(how lame is that statement? ..hehe)

=)