My BLACK HEELS.... And my ASS of a boyfriend!!!

Am not a 'girly girl' ...i just have 'girly MOMENTS'. I had on of those moments on Wednesday, today Friday, and i bought myself my FIRST (yes, first) PAIR OF BLACK HEELS!!!! I've been vehemently searching for a pair for the longest time, and lately my boyfriend's been 'hinting' that me-in-heels would be a sight to behold. So i buy this pair of heels, (for 500ksh ONLY!!! YAY!! And they cute and stuff) but this purchase is quite a gamble, cause i gats me some VERY FLAT FEET, so heels are pretty damn painful.

Now, i have A LOT of pride...

So Friday, get dolled-up and wear my new shoes, with leg-warmers (which looks TOO COOL btw) and put on some skinnies and stuff. I leave my room, head to school...

...and for a boy who makes a FUSS over me each time i inhale and exhale, all he says is "..you look taller...oh, heels." And like had said 'girly MOMENTS', this was one of those. Ofcourse i was PISSED!!! Punk-Ass-Nigga!! (hehe!!) Uh-huh, i may be A BIT of a drama queen, but A LITTLE more EXCITEMENT would have gone a very long way in rationalizing my aching toes.

...for the first time he wasn't the highlight of my day. That came later when we were out and some random dude was INSISTING on my phone number, of the ICE-CREAM that came BEFORE the PiZZA, or the random sitting on random benches... You know what, the HIGHLIGHTS started right about the time he left!!

I need to go back....

See am a Christian. But lately i have not been a very good one. (..and by 'lately', i mean the past year or so) Am indiffrent to my christianity. I experience no regret for past errors. I lead a mediocre life. Am not ati REBELING, but am just not on the right track. On a VERY SLOW, VERY GRADUAL DOWNWARD SPIRAL!!! And those are the worst typa downfalls, where you've been sitting in the murk for a while before you feel it soak through your pants. I am, at the core, an artist.. But i don't draw anymore.. Neither do i write anymore. The reason, i lack inspiration... from the Giver of this 'gift'. My school work's JUST AVERAGE (sometimes below) cause i lack ZEAL for anything, the FREAKING INDIFFRENCE has sipped into every aspect of my life. I am in a relationship which jus don feel right, but lack the balls to do anything about it. Don't get me wrong, my boyfriend, ONE OF THE GOOD ONES, i just don't feel that 'peace' that comes with knowledge that your with 'THE ONE.' And if your wondering, what i mean by 'the one' isn't some random bratha in my fairy tale... But he's the Man standing next to me AS i fullfil GOD'S PLAN FOR ME!!!! Simple as that. And this man ISN'T 'that man', not to take away from his stature as a person, but he just isn't! And with all this, i know..... I struggle to do what i need to.


I NEED TO GO BACK TO MY LORD....

Nyuma ya Steering!! Wololo!

So am moving out...YAY!!! And need to get my duvet drycleaned. And since it ain't so far, my mum let me use her car..YAY AGAIN!!!! [i LOVE driving.. manual.. automatic.. Whatever!! As long as its a vehicle am GAMEST!!] Okay, but yesterday i was nervous, so was having many MANIAC-MOMENTS!!! ...as i turned a corner, this man also decided to cross the road..... I HOOT... But its of no consequence... I BRAKE.... But the consequence, too slow. So... I HIT THE MAN!!!!!!




No worries, he didn't get badly hurt.... But that was CRAAAZY WEIRD!!!

That DEFINATELY tops my list of Encounters (not Accidents.. Encounters!!!) whilst am behind the wheel.

2:38am

First time we're gonna go to sleep, both in a huff. You PISSED ME OFF ...screw you btw... And i pissed you off also ...kinda...sorta... almost... But that was 12:43am, now its 2:38am and i wanna talk to you...

Boyfriend... Not a title, but his Job Description..hehe!

I've tried, i really have. Tried NOT to write about Him, cause... well.. PRIDE!! (i've got too much) But am done trying... He's in my head, and can't seem to get Him out, no matter how hard i fight it. (think ama stop fighting..maybe) I miss Him.. Saw Him yesterday... =( Spoke about 4hrs ago.. Even though i was napping, that's to long.
Is it the 'Real Thing'?! To Him Uh-huh. Me? I have my moments... When i think it could go somewhere, other times am not too sure. But i Like Him.. A lot!! LOVE?? I don't know. That is hard to come across. And i, myself, me personally have not let society diminish the meaning of LOVE.. So will not hold on to a fleeting 'i love you, babe' But are His words fleeting?? I honestly, don't know... Even if he meant that, i will not jus fall for a man based on His words (except for Jesus...) no matter how genuine. Regardless of my Pride and the Fight am putting up, He's managing to reel me in... Into His Arms....and there it all goes away.